A Message from a Survivor

Dear Reader,

I started taking aikido classes in a small dojo in my home town. After moving around and practicing in other places, I was back home years later when a new member walked in. Like many before him, he was a bit awkward socially. We were glad to have him, despite his sometimes annoying personality, because he showed up to class and trained. We couldn't be picky Š there were only a handful of us at the dojo, and we were glad to have anyone new to train with.

Questions arose about this man's past, strange gaps and inconsistencies in his life story, but no one cared to pry. One day, I heard a rumor at the local coffee shop. He had come to our town straight after serving a five year sentence for sexual assault. It was only a rumor, I thought. Whatever his past, he was trying to build a productive life, and I believed that he deserved a chance.

Then, one dark and stormy night, I woke up with the barrel of a gun pointed at my head, someone choking me from behind. It only took me a minute to guess who it might be, but in the darkness I could see nothing. I moved when he told me to, then broke away when I sensed an opening. Somehow, I got to the door of my room and turned on the light.

It was him. The rumors were true. I ran for the door but didn't make it. He tried to choke me. To my surprise, I didnÕt pass out. I ran for the door again, but couldn't run fast enough to get away, in my bare feet on the cold wet ground in the driving rain.

He was taken into police custody the following evening, facing a laundry list of charges which included home invasion, kidnapping, three counts of assault with a dangerous weapon, and aggravated rape.

I had black eyes, a hole in my face, and a damaged inner ear. I had also been raped, and no longer felt safe at home, but I was ready and able to put myself back together, thanks in large part to my aikido training. I don't know if I would have survived that night without it.

Along with my injuries came a profound feeling of betrayal. We had spent two years trying to help this man, teaching him an art which he used for evil ends. I had done my best to be polite and friendly to him while keeping our interactions focused around training. What would have happened if he had attacked some other woman? I would have felt partly responsible. I saw warning signs, and did nothing. He had many good intentions, but they were no match for the compulsion that drove him to rape me and threaten my life.

In the old days, in Japan, it was customary for students to be admitted to training only on recommendation. Teachers wanted students of good character, who would not use their techniques for evil or illegal ends. O Sensei said:

The purpose of aikido is to train mind and body and to produce sincere, earnest people. Since all techniques are to be transmitted person-to-person, do not randomly reveal them to others, for this might lead to their being used by hoodlums.

--Morihei Ueshiba (ca. 1935)

This is not a point that I have heard repeated often. Most dojos simply need more members, as ours did. We don't investigate people's character or even their criminal histories, but maybe we should. I don't think any of us wants to aid and abet violent crime, or put potentially lethal techniques into the hands of rapists and murderers.

It's not realistic to run a CORI on everyone who walks in the door, but perhaps when students go for their first grading or rank test they could be asked if they have a criminal record, in the name of making the dojo a safer community for all. Certainly, we should demand some reassurance of good character from teachers, those who hold the most power and responsibility in a dojo.

I do not want my dojo, or anyone else's, to be an unwitting accomplice in violent crime. Not everyone who comes to your door should be let in. Be kind, be open, but be careful, too. If it comes to your attention that someone in your dojo has been convicted of a violent crime in the past, and is at all likely to re-offend, it might be prudent to ask them to leave, for your own safety and that of the wider community.

Thank you for your time and attention,

A Survivor